Yikes...those are three words that can cause major trouble in our hearts and minds. I have seen many problems arise, both in my own home and in the world at large revolving around that phrase, "I deserve it". Why do we feel that we "deserve" things? What have we done to deserve anything at all?
Why do I feel that I deserve what I don't have? Why do I desire things that I feel I "deserve"? Why can't I feel content and blessed with what God has given me, which is so much. Why do I look to others and what they have as the guidelines to what I should have?
I have struggled with this in my own life. My Mom and I had a conversation today regarding people's tendencies to feel they "deserve" things, just because. That society, media, advertising, retailers, heck even McDonald's has been shoving the "You Deserve It's" down our throats. What has resulted? Deeply unsatisfied people always wanting more. If I just had this....it would be better. I "deserve" this, I've worked hard for it. I should get this because that is what everyone should have. I am just as good as so and so...if they have it I should too.
I "deserve" nothing. God gives me grace. He fills my life with blessings that I don't even open my eyes too. He shows me His love each and every day....whether I take the time to look at it or not. I hear his love all the time, in all the "I love you's" from my kids. Or the, "Let me do the dishes" that I hear from my Hubby. He constantly is telling me, showing me and whispering to me that He loves me. He gives me more love that I'll ever deserve. Why am I always looking for just a little bit more?
Why do I struggle with looking at others and wanting more, feeling that "I deserve it"? Not necessarily even tangible, material things. Wanting people I love to behave more like others I see. Not seeing that the way my family behaves is exactly what I need, what God knows that my heart needs. The struggles I have, they are ones I give myself. God knows that if I had what I wanted, it's not what I really need. He knows my heart so much better than I do....so why do I feel the need to tell Him what I "deserve"?
What I do know is that God will never desert me. I will walk away from Him, as I have many times and will unfortunately do many times more I'm sure. He will let me walk away, but make the path back to Him always available and clear. I might take the long way home, stumbling along as I go but he will make sure that he is there for me whenever I need Him. Whether I "deserve" it or not.