The In Between

Have you ever been there, the "in between"? In the middle, the chasm, the center? I'm there right now. Between two ideas, two notions, two possibilities. It's a really unsettling place. I don't like it.

I'm a fixer. A doer. A "make it all better" kind of person. When you are in the in between, you can't fix it. You can't make it go away. You just have to wait and see what side the pendulum is going to swing to. That isn't easy for me.

Trusting God while in the in between isn't easy either, not for me. As a "fixer" I want him to fix it. Make a decision, choose a side. Waiting to see makes me so impatient, I don't want to feel uncertain or unsure of what is next.

Giving it to God, allowing Him to choose the in between is what is hard. I want to choose it. I want to fix it. I want it to just be done already. Allowing God to make that choice is scary, I don't know what He's going to choose and more importantly, whether or not I will like His choice.

God uses the in between to mold us. To shape us, to pull us up towards Him. I need to be soft, like clay and weak enough to let Him mold me. He wants to use this in between to mold me to melt into His warm embrace.

Matthew 11:25-30
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."