I'm Going to Open my Blinds

"If I am ruthlessly honest, I may have said yes to God, yes to Christianity, but really I have lived the no." "Now everywhere we look, we only see all that isn't...holes, lack, deficiency." "We don't see the material world for what it is meant to be, as the means to communion with God."

I started reading the book One Thousand Gifts this week. The above are a few lines that I highlighted from what I've read so far. I'm only done with chapter one and I can't even put into words how much it has already resonated with me.

If you've not heard of the book please find out about it. If you've heard of it but don't plan on reading it, I wholeheartedly ask you to reconsider. I truly believe it has the ability to be life changing.

My personal relationship with God the last several years has been very still. I love God, I know He loves me, but I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the one thing, the one catalyst, the proverbial ball to start rolling. I'm holding out for the "thing" that will just get my life, my relationships, my happiness to the next level. I've been treading water for a long time.

I love my family and my life, but I've been waiting for the "awakening" that will bring me the true joy that I've been waiting to feel. For the vest of shame and guilt and grumbling to be lifted off. I intellectually know that God is the only one who can do that for me, but I've been waiting and it hasn't happened yet. I've been waiting for something to happen to me, instead of opening myself up and letting go so that it can happen.

I think after reading the first chapter of this book, the one thing that I've walked away with is that God has done all the things that I've been waiting for Him to do. He's already done it. He has given me all I need to experience true joy, and still does. I've lost site of it from the moment I decided not to feel it anymore. I am waiting for something that isn't going to happen, because it's been happening all along.

I'm going to open my blinds, so that I can take in all that God has been doing for me, for mankind, from the moment He created it all.

"His secret purpose framed for the very beginning [is] to bring us to our full glory." 1 Corinthians 2:7, NEB